Don't cry for me big brother
by Eraman
Summary: Someone has died and left his big brother behind to cry. It might use some bad language in time.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everybody! This is actually not Eraman but her lovely younger sister who is visiting her for a few days. The thing is she doesn't know I'm posting this. She was reading through some old documents on her computer and found this. Anyway when she left for a class I took it and posted it here. My sister forgot to logout from here so she can only blame herself. I think she'll need your opinions on this. I like it but i I don't know much about the Outsiders so I don't know who it is about. So happy reading!**

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The church was cold and dull and he hated it, with all his heart he hated it. He knew that church for some people was a place for prayers and comfort but every time he'd been there someone was being buried. This time wasn't different... today was the funeral for his younger brother the brother he hadn't had such good bond with until just shortly. He felt pain in his chest as he thought of that little guy's laughter. Little maybe isn't the best word but you know what it's like. Your younger siblings are always little to you. He saw his brother's best friend not far from him and the guy was crying his eyes out. He wanted to cry himself but couldn't. He'd been crying for days now and didn't think he had more tears to cry. Suddenly when the preacher was talking he remembered the song he'd heard his little brother sing weeks ago and he could swear he heard it now too. The melody was a bit sad and powerful and he was angry for not listening closely to the words until it was too late.

"**_It won't be easy, you'll think it's strange  
When I try to explain how I feel  
that I still need your love after all that I've said_**

**_You won't believe me  
All you will do is listen to him  
Although he's lying to you  
But you never believe me do you_**

**_I had to let it happen, I couldn't win  
Could not fight back to defeat him  
He is always too strong, I am always too weak_**

**_So I chose hatred  
Trying to run, yelling, hurting you too  
But I didn't hate you at all  
He never tried to do it to you_**

**_Don't cry for me big brother  
The truth is I never left you  
All through my wild days  
My mad existence  
I kept my promise  
Don't keep your distance_**

**_And as for anger, and as for hate  
I never invited them in  
Though it seemed to the world they were all that I had  
They are illusions  
They are not the true sides of my heart  
The answer was here all the time  
I love you and hope you love me_**

**_Don't cry for me big brother  
_****_Hmmm mm  
Don't cry for me big brother  
The truth is I never left you  
All through my wild days  
My mad existence  
I kept my promise  
Don't keep your distance_****_"_**

**_Have I convinced you?  
There are so much lies he tells to you.  
But all you have to do is look at me to know  
That all my words are true_**"

Suddenly he could swear he heard his brother's voice singing some new parts. The words were like whisper in his ears. Whispers that closed everything else out.

"**_I want to tell the truth to you my brother  
I know now that you believe  
All the horrors and pain that he put me through  
Though I'm defeated  
I know that you will win and defeat him  
For both of our sakes_**

**_Don't cry for me big brother  
The truth is I shall not leave you  
Though it may get harder for you to see me  
I'm with you, and always will be_**

**_Have I said too little?  
There's so much more I can think of to say to you  
But all I can do now is tell you that  
I'll always love you_**"

He looked around the church and at all the grieving people and realized he couldn't take it. He shot up from his place and ran down the aisle, ignoring the voice calling his name. He just couldn't be there... He just couldn't. So he ran and kept thinking: how did it come to this?

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_Oh I forgot to tell you that the song is "Don't cry for me Argentina" and that the last part is from "Eva's last broadcast". Just so you know._


	2. Chapter 2

**My wonderful and sneaky little sister posted this without asking me so I guess I have to continue. But i was surprised when i got reviews from a story I hadn't posted. The sneaky little, in loss of other words, girl could at least have asked me. Well that's life and I'm never gonna forget to logout again. **

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Part 1

It's odd actually when I you look at me you'd think I'm a greaser but I'm not I'm not a soc either I'm just me. The same goes for my best friend in the entire world Darryl Shane Curtis Jr. Darry and I have been friends since second grade and we both play in the high school football team. He's the captain and I'm the receiver. We are almost as close as brothers, hell we are brothers in arms. Anyway I better tell you about our gang, which isn't really a gang, just a bunch of guys that grew up together and are good friends. Darry and me are the oldest at 18 and are in our senior years at high school. Darry is six-feet-two, broad-shouldered and muscular, with dark brown hair that kicks out in the front and a slight cowlick in the back and he has pale blue-green eyes. Some people say they are cold and uncaring but they're not. Only when he really hates you they are that way. I'm six-feet-one and look like Darry and built, but I'm a bit paler, have really dark hair and dark eyes. My hair is short and wild, it sprawls right up and sometimes Darry or my little brother call me hedgehog or spiky. Not that I'm complaining but once Darry's dad asked me if I'd put my fingers in a socket. That made Darry's younger brother, Sodapop, call me socky for a while.

Soda is fifteen years old and handsomer than anyone else I know, including myself. He is movie star kinda handsome he's not as tall as me or Darry and he is a little slimmer, he got dark-gold hair that he combs back with grease and in the summer the sun bleaches it to some kind of wheat-gold. I use to call him Wheaty but he only smiles or laughs. He got dark brown eyes, like mine and one time one of my and Darry's friend asked if he was my younger brother because our eyes look the same. Soda just laughed and said nope.

Darry got another younger brother and his name is Ponyboy. Aw that kid you just have to love him. He is smart, but sometimes he don't use his head, he has light-brown almost red hair and greenish-grey eyes, like his grandpa Darry told me. He is kinda little for a twelve year old but who cares that kid is gonna go far I know it.

The oldest of the boys in our gang, after me and Darry, is Two-Bit Matthews. His real name is Keith but well no one calls him that. He's the wisecracker and always have to get his two-bits in, hence his name. He is stocky in build, sex-feet tall and proud of his rusty-colored sideburns, he's sixteen years old and he is famous for his shoplifting skills. I like the guy a lot but if there is someone I'm not too fond off it's Dallas Winston.

He's like Soda in age but is a hood. He got an elfish face with high cheekbones and a pointed chin, he got small sharp animal teeth and ears like a lynx. The worst thing about him is his eyes. They are blue, cold and filled with anger and hatred towards the world. His hair is almost white it's so blonde so when I get tired of him I call him Snowwhite, he doesn't dare to fight me or Darry because we are so big. But he is kind and soft when it comes to Johnny Cade aka Johnnycakes.

If you can imagine a puppy that's been kicked too many times and then was lost in a crowd of stranger then you got Johnny. He got jet-black hair, black eyes and a dark tanned face. He is fourteen but as small as Ponyboy and has a slight build. He is also everyone's kid brother and the gang pet. Well that was all of them.

Wait I forgot to tell you about Steve Randle, aw that kid, we were closer before but now we're not close at all. It's like we just know each other briefly. The guy is fifteen years old, tall, lean and got dark hair that he keeps heavily greased back in complicated swirls, which aren't so complicated because his hair is actually curly. Something he doesn't want anyone to know so I keep quiet about it. His eyes are really dark, like mine and Soda's and actually the two of them are best friends. They met when they were five, in the park and has been best friends ever since. Steve's eyes are always filled with hate except from when he is around Soda or cars. Geez that guy is a car-maniac but he got talent with them. He knows them inside out, upside-down and backwards and even reversed. He is famous for his hubcap-lifting-skills too. That boy can lift them quicker and more quiet than anyone else in town and he drives better than most people too. He and Soda works part-time at a DX.

Maybe I should tell you my name now, I'm Michael Randle and this is my life for the moment.

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**The only character I owe is Michael and the descriptions are mostly from the book so S.E. Hinto owns them and the other guys.**


	3. Chapter 3

Part 2

I woke up by dad shaking me… hard.

"Darry get out of bed now", dad said and left the room. "I gotta go and wake your brother."

"You'll need a megaphone or a water gun", I grumbled as I got dressed and met mom in the kitchen.

"Hi Darry", she said and handed me a plate of eggs and toast.

"Thanks mom", I kissed her cheek. I sat down to eat when I heard a shrill cry from Pony's room and out came dad… running. In his hand he held a water gun. Then I heard laughter from the living room and saw Soda sit on the couch looking at Pony coming storming out from his room. Water ran along the side of his face. He looked around but couldn't see dad who was hiding behind the couch.

"Pony dear", mom said. "Was that you that screamed?"

"Yeah… dad sprayed me with ice-cold water. He got me in the ear!"

I burst out laughing and dad aimed for Pony's neck and fired. Pony jumped high and twirled around and saw dad duck behind the couch. He snuck forward and jumped over the couch to get dad. But dad had moved and was now holding Soda in front of him like a shield. He knew Pony wouldn't do anything if it resulted in Soda getting hurt. I chuckled at the sight.

"Don't be mad at me Ponyboy", dad said smiling and hid behind Soda. "It was Darry's idea!"

"Darrel Shane Curtis Sr." Mom then said with a hint of a smile in her voice. "Don't use your sons as an excuse for doing something… and don't use your son as a shield!"

"What about the water", Pony pouted.

"And don't use that water gun to wake up your sons. Now come and eat breakfast, the others will surely be here soon."

* * *

No less had she said that when there was a knock on the front door and my best friend Michael entered with his younger brother Steve in tow. Michael looked to be in a good mood today as always. He was almost as happy-go-lucky as Soda but not really. Soda brightened up when he saw Steve, the two of them are best friends. It's kinda hilarious that my little brother is best friend with my best friend's little brother. Michael and I met in second grade and Steve and Soda met in the park when they were both five years old. So Soda and I became best friends with the Randles during the same time.

"Good morning to you all", Michael said and entered the kitchen, he ruffled Pony's hair as he went by him to sit down at my side. "How do y'all fare on this fair morning?"

"Fair morning my foot", Pony grumbled and glared at dad who just smiled at him.

"We are just fine Michael", mom said and smiled. "Have you boys eaten breakfast?"

"Yeah Stevie made some before we left", Michael said and looked at Steve. I sighed when I looked at the kid he didn't look up from the floor to see Michael smiling at him. Since their mother died three years ago Steve and Michael has been drifting apart. It makes me sad because they used to be so close.

"That's good to hear", dad said and smiled. "How are you today Steve?"

"I'm fine Mr. Curtis", Steve said and looked up. I notice mom gasp and looked at him and saw a bad cut and bruise underneath his eye.

"If that's fine I don't want to know what bad is", mom said and rose from her chair and walked over to him. "What happened dear?"

"I was clumsy yesterday", Steve muttered. "I walked into an open cupboard."

"Ya have to watch where ya go little brother I don't want to see ya hurt", Michael said and smiled and I saw Steve glare at him venomously.

"I'm ready to go", Soda said and rose. "See y'all. Come on Steve!"

The two of them ran out to do something together before going to school. I rose and motioned for Michael to follow me and we went to my room.

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"Darry I don't know what to do", he said and sighed. "We keep drifting apart and yesterday he hurried inside his room and slammed the door when I got home."

"Is he mad at you?"

"I guess so but I don't know what I've done wrong." He sat down on my bed and leaned his head in his hands. "God damn it Darry how do ya do it?"

"How do I do what?"

"Ya got such great bond with your brothers… how'd ya do it?"

I blinked and thought about it. Soda me and Pony had always been close I didn't know what made it so. I sighed and clapped him on the back.

"Come on buddy let's get to school."

* * *

As we got to school we met Two-Bit at the entrance. He smiled brightly at us.

"Look what the cat dragged in?" he said. "The second Randle-Curtis duo."

"Steve and Soda already passed through?" Michael asked as he shook Two-Bit's hand.

"Yeah… say have your kid brother been in a fight?"

"Yeah with a cupboard..."

"Really", Two-Bit smiled and broke out laughing. "The kid is as clumsy as you are!"

"What ya talking about I ain't clumsy!"

"Michael watch out", I called as he went straight into a door. This sent Two-Bit into hysterics. Michael just glared at him and hurried inside.

"Now don't tell me that wasn't fun", Two-Bit said to me as we followed him.

* * *

Later that day, after last class Michael and I decided to go and check if Steve and Soda wanted a ride home. While we were walking a kid from Tim Sheppard's gang came running towards us.

"Darry", he yelled. "Michael!"

"Hi", I said. "What's up Trent?"

"Steve and Soda are in trouble!"

"What?"

"They're fighting with three socs from the football team."

Michael and I ran as fast as we could and out on the yard Steve and Soda were fighting against five socs! Three of them were from our team.

"Hey get the hell away from my brother", I yelled and threw one off my brother and the other's backed off.

"They came at us Darry", a guy named Alex said. "We didn't do anything!"

"You're a liar", Steve growled. He was bleeding from his nose. Soda wasn't as bad. "It was the three of you that came at us and then ya got two more to help."

"Steve calm down", Michael said but I could see that he was mad. "Let's go… We'll see you guys at practice tomorrow. Sorry for this misunderstanding."

"Misunderstanding", Steve yelled but Michael was already pushing him away. Me and Soda followed, Soda looking miserable.

"Darry I'm sorry if Steve got Soda into trouble again", Michael said after a little while.

"What the hell", Steve yelled at him. "Them socs jumped us and now that's my fault?"

"Steve ya can't keep your mouth shut around people that makes ya mad."

"I can keep my mouth shut around you can't I?"

I just stared at him and Soda walked over to him and put a supporting hand on his shoulder.

"It's true Michael", he said. "We were just walking from gym class when them socs came at us. It wasn't Steve's fault."

"Soda I know ya always defend him", I said. "But truth is Michael knows him better than you."

"Ha", Steve said and looked at me as if I was crazy. "Yeah the bastard knows me really good. Tell ya what Darry, your best friend is never home, he's always out with you or at parties with other guys. Do ya know when the last time he cooked or cleaned was?"

"No", I said and Steve turned to Michael with a smirk on his face.

"I can't either because it never happens."

"Hey", Michael said but Steve just glared at him and took off down the street. Soda didn't try to make a run after him. When Michael and I looked at him we saw something that puzzled us. It was as if Soda's right eye was mad at us and the other was sad.

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**There ya go! My little sister has promised not to put up more stories without asking me. What's with kids these days? NOOOO I sound like my grandma!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Part 3**

As I got home I heard dad yell at Steve in the kitchen for something. I walked in and saw Steve stand at the counter with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Why do ya always get into trouble", dad yelled at him. "Can't ya do anything right?"

"Guess I got that from you then", Steve spat and dad tensed.

"Knock it off Steve", I said and dad relaxed. "Dad's doing what he thinks is best for you."

"Oh", Steve looked at me with stormy eyes. "So that's your opinion then?"

"Yeah. Come on little brother how many times have ya been in fights recently?"

"Just as many as you've been cooking."

Dad glared at him. "Don't blame your brother."

"Excuse me", Steve yelled. "It was his turn to make dinner tonight so I could work at the DX! When I got home there was no food on the table, the house was deserted and the laundry Michael promised to do isn't done! I had to do that too! So when I started dinner you came home and yelled at me for the food not being served!"

"I'm sorry Steve", I said and walked up to him. "I forgot that's all. I promise I will cook tomorrow."

"Bullshit, promises from you never lasts", he wasn't meeting my gaze and I felt a stab in my heart by his words.

"Steve…" I tried but dad put a hand on my shoulder.

"Go to your room Michael", he said lowly. "I think I'll have to talk to your brother in private."

I nodded and went to the door and when dad was closing it I caught sight of Steve's face. He looked mad and sad at the same time. I thought he just didn't wanted dad to yell at him. Dad doesn't yell as much when I'm around. I shrugged it off and went to my room. I turned on the radio so I wouldn't hear their yelling.

* * *

Dad woke me up next morning and told me breakfast was on the table and that I should wake Steve. Dad and I have our bedrooms on the second floor while Steve has his on the first opposite the laundry room. I sighed, waking Steve in the morning was never fun. He could, if he wanted to, sleep like a log. Then he was dead to the world. I got dressed and headed for his room. Steve's room is smaller than mine for some reason. His walls are covered in posters with cars or Elvis and he has a dresser, a desk, a chair and a bed. There is no mess in his room, he keeps it clean. Not like me or Sodapop our rooms are always messy and don't get me started on Two-Bit. I smiled softly as I saw Steve sleep in his bed. He was lying on his stomach and sun was hitting the left side of his face while the right was faced down in the pillow. I walked over and gave him a gentle shake.

"Come on little brother it's time to get up."

"Go away", he moaned.

"Come on Steve it's Friday today and tonight are the drag races and Darry and I promised to take you and the guys."

"I know just leave me alone…"

"We'll be late."

"Then you leave… I'll make it in time."

"Whatever", I said and left for a fast breakfast and then headed to school.

* * *

Two-Bit was busy telling us about a blonde girl he'd seen the other day while we were walking home. I wasn't listening to all of it and when we came to the lot we heard Soda's voice.  
"I can't believe he did it", he said. "Ya mean he really said it?"

"Yeah why wouldn't he?"

"But… have ya iced it?"

"No didn't get time."

Darry and I looked at each other and hurried towards Soda's voice. We found him and Steve on the grass. Soda was lying on his back and Steve was sitting with his legs stretched out. Dallas, Johnny and Pony were sitting on the other side of the lot.

"Soda", Darry asked as we walked over. "What's going on?"

"Hm… Oh hi Darry", Soda beamed and I notice Steve was looking away from us. "Nothing we're just taking it easy."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

I narrowed my eyes and walked around Steve. But he covered the right side of his face with his hand. He'd been avoiding looking at me the whole day and if we met in the hallway he covered the right side of his face. I was really worried.

"Steve", I said in an ordering tone and kneeled beside him.

"What ya want", he asked cooly.

"Look at me."

Steve pulled away a bit but I grabbed his arm.

"Look at me", I demanded but he was still avoiding my face. "Steve!"

The kid was stubborn as hell, he'd always had been and sometimes it was great. But this wasn't one of those times. Annoyance struck me and I put my hand on his cheek and forced him to look at me. What I saw made me gasp and I fell backwards.

"There", Steve spat angrily and rose. "Happy now?"

"W-what…" I just stared at him. The right side of his face was covered with dark bruises. "What the hell happened to ya?" I asked as I rose.

Darry and the others were now crowding around us and were all staring at him.

"What I deserved according to you", Steve spat and started to walk. But I caught his arm.

"Steve I would never want anything like that to happen to ya."

Steve closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath then yanked his arm lose.

"Make up your mind", he said and walked away. Soda hurried to his feet and followed him.

"What the hell is going on", Dallas asked and turned to me. "Did you do that to him?"

"Me?! Why the hell would I do that?!"

"You've been drunk the latest times I've seen ya."

"So? What's your point Snowwhite?"

"When ya get drunk ya can do things ya don't remember."

"Yeah and since he said he got what he deserved according to ya", Johnny pointed out. "Maybe you were drunk and did that to him and don't remember it now."

"He can't have", Darry said. "Neither of us drank any alcohol yesterday."

I sighed and massaged my temples. "I gotta talk to him… Or maybe dad could…"

"Ya really think that", Two-Bit said and laughed. "Aw you're crazy."

"What ya talking about?"

"Steve tells us your dad is nothing but an uncaring bastard who would rather throw ya out than take care of ya."

"He's said what", I yelled in anger. That was not how dad was and it made me really pissed that he accused him for being a bastard who didn't love us. I started to follow Steve and Soda and left the others behind, well except from Darry.

"Maybe this is just a big misunderstanding", he tried to calm me. "Ya told me they fight a lot. Maybe Steve said it after a fight."

"It doesn't make it right Darry. Dad has been great since mom died."

"Maybe… he's changed towards Steve because Steve is the youngest and looks so much like her."

"I do too…"

"Yeah but Steve does even more."

I sighed and felt a little of my anger slip away. Then I saw my brother talking to Soda and my anger flared up again when the words reached my ears:

"I tell ya Soda, the bastard wouldn't care shit if I left and never came back. If it been Michael then he would move heaven and earth."

I ran over and tackled my brother hard which sent us both to the ground. I positioned myself on his chest and pressed him down on the ground.

"What the hell are ya doing", Steve yelled and tried to get up. "Let me go!"

"No little brother", I growled and pulled his face close to mine. "You've said some bad things about dad that he doesn't deserve."

"Ya gotta be joking", Steve said and smiled. "The bastard deserves everything I tell about him. Ya don't know him because you're never home."

Before I knew what I was doing my fist connected with his face. I just stared at him and he stared at me in shock. I let go of his shirt and Darry pulled me off my brother. Steve was still staring at me and I saw the pain and sorrow in his eyes… and was that fright?

"S-Steve I…" He just rose to his feet. "I-I'm sorry…"

"Yeah", Steve mumbled. "Whatever… You're always sorry but it doesn't mean anything."

"Steve", Soda tried but Steve pulled away from him too. "Buddy come on let's go to the park." Steve shook his head.

"Guess ya really think that's what I deserve then", Steve said and started to walk towards our house.

"Steve wait", I yelled but Darry put a hand on my shoulder.

"Let him blow off some steam and ya can talk to him later", he said and Soda laughed hollowly. "What's with you?"

"How much will be later", Soda asked us with an angry smirk. "Last time ya said you would do something together with your brother later Michael it never happened. Ya don't see what's going on do ya? Ya don't notice that Steve is in pain and is afraid."

"How can I", I snapped. "Fanta he isn't even talking to me! He's not telling me what's wrong!"

"Should he really need to", Soda asked and walked off leaving me and Darry alone. I hated when he did that, he and Steve were both so damn good at it. They could give ya a few words and by them spoke the entire truth and they could be really deep. Like when Steve tried to comfort me after mom died. I'd been really upset about something and Steve had tried to comfort me. I'd told him there was nothing that would make it better because mom was gone forever. He smiled and looked at me and then he said: "Is she really?" I didn't understand it then and he left me to think about it. Later it hit me that as long as I remember mom and loves her she'll never be gone forever. That and that Steve and I had parts of her in us, so does our entire house. See what I mean? Those two can be deep… if they want to. Now Soda had me thinking.

* * *

"Why these long faces", Mr. Curtis asked us as we got back to Darry's home.

"Something happened", Darry said. "Steve and Michael had a fight…"

"Oh… what happened?"

"Steve's been telling people dad is nothing but an unloving bastard that would rather throw us out than love us", I said and sighed. "But that's not how I should describe him."

"There is two sides of the same coin", Mr. Curtis said.

"I know they've been fighting a lot… But I still don't understand what's happened with Steve. Or why he doesn't talk to me."

"Maybe he's afraid you won't believe him."

I stared at Mr. Curtis. When we were younger Steve knew I always believed him so why would he don't think it now? Suddenly a memory hit me. It was from maybe three years ago not long after mom died. I'd found Steve out on the porch with a bad bruise on his cheek. He'd told me dad had hit him. I'd been angry at him for lying and accusing dad to do something like that. In my world dad would never do that.

"That's not the problem", I said and Mr. Curtis smiled.

"Do you know Michael or do you think?"

"I think it's not the problem."

"But you can never be sure."

"The only way to find out is ask him."

"Is it really necessary?" I and Darry just stared at him. Now I know where Soda gets it from.

* * *

I looked at the clock and saw that it was almost seven pm and my eyes went wide.

"Shit it's my turn to cook", I yelled and ran towards the door. "Bye Darry I'll see ya tomorrow!"

"Michael", Darry yelled in warning. "The door!"

I ran straight into it and slid to the floor. For a few second it was quiet then the Curtises started to laugh like crazy. I rose, waved and ran out the door, opening it first.

* * *

At home I heard dad yell at Steve for not cooking and I hurried inside.

"Dad wait it was my fault", I said breath caught in my throat. "I forgot about time… and I hurried over here as soon as I could. Steve has nothing to do with it!"

Dad looked between us and I saw Steve look at the floor.

"Well", dad said and smiled. "Can ya please prepare dinner now Michael?"

"Yeah", I said and hurried into the kitchen.

* * *

Dad was looking angry during supper and I smiled at him to ease the tension.

"So dad how was your day", I asked smiling.

"It was okay", he said. "I got in a small fight with Robby or was it Bobby? Ya can't know with those two goons. I tell ya never work with identical twins, it's really confusing."

Steve chuckled.

"Well we had a good day too didn't we Steve", I said and smiled at my little brother and saw the anger and hurt in his eyes and my smile slid off my face.

"Yeah I bet ya had Steve", dad said and glared at him. "Your teacher called me and told me you'd been in a fight… again."

"It wasn't my fault", Steve mumbled. "Those older boys were trying to beat me up… after math-class."

"I've told ya to keep out of fights Steve. We'll have to talk about this after dinner. Michael are ya going out tonight?"

"No I have so much homework so I'll just go upstairs and do it." I saw the terrified and pleading look Steve threw me and my heart clenched. "But dad there has been some kind of bully around school lately. It's not Steve's fault that"

"I take care of this Michael. You just go and study."

"Okay dad", I said and rose.

* * *

Later that night around midnight I heard our front door slam shut and how dad drove away in his car. I sighed and went down to get a glass of water. It was dark in the entire house and when I went into the kitchen I slipped on something. I went to the ground with a bang and it hurt I can tell ya. As I rose I heard a soft whimper and saw a form huddle next to the counter. I reached out and flicked on the light and stared at my little brother in horror.

"Steve", I exclaimed. He was bleeding from practically everywhere and his pajamas was torn and stained with blood. I'd slipped in a pool of his blood. I ran over and sank to his side and reached out to touch his shoulder. But as soon as I touched him he jumped back with a yelp.

"No leave me alone don't hurt me", he screamed and hugged his knees to him. "Please don't hurt me!"

"Steve it's me Michael", I tried and crept closer. "Stevie-boy it's me your big brother."

"No you want to hurt me! Please I'll be good I won't do anything wrong again!"

I was now beside him and lifted his chin. His face was all cut up and bruised. I forced him to look at me and our eyes locked.

"Hey little brother", I soothed. "It's just me. It's Michael."

"M-Michael", he stuttered out weakly.

"Yes", I said and smiled while tears ran down my cheeks. "Yeah little brother it's me."

"Michael", he lunched himself at me and buried his face in my shirt. I hugged him hard while he sobbed.

"Stevie who did this to you?"

"D-dad…"

My grip on him hardened. I mentally kicked myself, the fright Steve's eyes had shown, the bruises, dad insisting on me being out of the room while he "talked" to Steve, Steve's hate for dad and why he was hurt when I said he would get what he deserved. Hell he thought that I wanted dad to do this to him.

"Bastard", I growled out and rocked my brother back and forth. "I'm so, so sorry Steve."

"Is okay… you didn't know."

"Yes I did… you told me but I was blind. But now I see it all. I'm so sorry little brother. I promise he will never hurt you again!"

"C-can ya keep that promise?"

I sighed and thought about it. It would mean coming home directly after school and practice, not staying out too long with Darry or go to all the parties I use to go to. But that was a small sacrifice if it kept my brother safe and sound.

"Yes", I said determent. "I will keep that promise." With that I just picked him up and carried him to the bathroom. I helped him off with his clothes and told him to take a shower while I went to get another pajama for him. But I couldn't find one; I guessed they were all thrown away so I took one of mine. When Steve put it on he looked so small since I'm so much broader than him and I had pajamas that were too big for me to make it easier to move around. He was too weak to walk by himself so I picked him up and carried him into my room. I put Steve down on my bed and pulled up a chair beside it. He looked at me through barley open eyes. I stroke his hair and whispered:

"You are safe little one."

His eyes closed and he fell asleep and I did the same.


	5. Chapter 5

**Part 4**

I woke up when Pony and Two-Bit jumped onto my bed. They could be a real pain in the mornings. I just pushed them off and they left laughing. As I walked into the living room I saw Soda sitting there and glare at me. Mom and dad were away with some friends so I would look after my younger brothers today. But Michael had promised to come over later today. But when I saw Soda's glare I sighed and walked over to him.

"Are ya still mad at me Pepsi-Cola?" I asked and sat down.

"At both you and Michael."

"Come on Soda I bet they've talked it through."

"Ya don't see it do ya Darry? They're not as close as they used to be. They hardly even speak and Steve doesn't trust Michael enough to talk to him about…"

When he didn't continue I felt worried and put a hand on his shoulder.

"About what Soda", I prompted. "You can tell me. Trust me I will listen."

"That's just it Darry", Soda looked at me. "You'll listen but Michael will never."

"I don't", I was interrupted by the phone.

"Darry it's for you", Pony yelled. "It's Michael!"

I sighed and went over to the phone.

"Yeah", I said.

"Darry?"

"Yeah Michael."

"Darry listen I can't come over and neither can Steve. Ya see he's uh got the flu and I'll have to help him out. He's in bed now and is really bad."

"Is it", I felt worried at once. "Is it the same as your… mom?"

"What?! No! No I think it's just the flu. Don't worry I'll see you later okay?"

"Yeah. Tell Steve to get well soon and I'll see ya at school."

"Yeah, bye Dar."

"Bye Mike." I put down the phone and went into the living room and found the entire gang there.

"Hi there Darry", Dallas said. "What did Michael want?"

"Steve's got the flu so he won't be over today and Michael is staying home to help him."

Soda's eyes went big in surprise.

"Yeah Soda", Dallas smirked as he saw it. "We're surprised too."

"What the heck are ya talking about", I asked. I didn't like it when people talked bad about my best friend.

"Admit it Darry", Dallas said and smirked at me. "Michael isn't the most helpful big brother in the world."

"He's doing his best", I defended him.

"He should try harder", Soda mumbled.

"Soda is there something ya want to tell me?"

"No Darry… I'll run over and check on Steve if it's okay?"

"Yeah ya do that. Say hi to the guys from us."

* * *

I was pacing back and forth in the kitchen. Steve was still asleep and I'd just called Darry. I didn't like to lie to my best friend but I just couldn't tell him about this. Not yet. Then it hit me… I wonder if Soda knew and that's why he was mad at me. Steve and Soda always told each other everything.

"How stupid can I get", I asked myself out loud. "That's what he meant with 'should he really need to?'. If I'd just looked at Steve after his 'talks' with dad I should've seen it. Damn just the look on his face and in his eyes should've been enough!" I stopped and looked at a picture on the wall in the living room. I smiled and felt warm all over. It was of me and Steve. I was maybe seven and Steve was four. I was teaching him how to put a worm on the hook when you fished. Steve was smiling at me with his big eyes full of joy and I looked the same. That joy I could no longer find in my fifteen-year old brother. I looked the same but he'd changed... thanks to our _father_. Suddenly I was woken from my thoughts by someone knocking on the door.

"It's open", I yelled and Soda entered.

"Hi Michael", he said and smiled softly. "I just wanted to come and say hi to Steve."

"It's okay, he's in my room." Soda's eyebrows climbed up. "I found him in the kitchen and guessed I had to keep a close eye on him. He would be safer in my room." Soda walked upstairs and I followed him. To see his reaction.

* * *

When Soda got into my room I saw him pale a bit and walk over to Steve's side and sighing.

"Aw man", he mumbled. "What did he do to ya know?"

That was all I needed. Soda knew and now I knew that he does. I walked inside and stood beside him.

"How long have ya known", I asked and Soda jumped.

"Since it started", Soda whispered. "Steve came to me one day and had a big bruise on his cheek. I saw he was troubled and the first thing I asked was if you or your dad had hit him. He nodded and told me your dad had. He also told me that you didn't believe him when he told ya."

"I was so blind", I said. "How come I never noticed…?"

"As you said you were blind. But you also didn't want to see anything bad in your dad. Since he is your biggest hero and all."

"Was Fanta", I said and ran a hand over my face. "I don't think I'll ever be able to look at the man the same way ever again."

"Ya know", Soda said softly. "He's mostly upset that ya abandoned him after your mom's death."

"I didn't abandon him", I yelled angrily.

"Ya didn't?" Soda looked at me and it hit me. The kid did it again!

I sighed and went over to my desk and sat down. I leaned my head in my hands and felt utterly depressed.

"I know", I said. "I've been a complete jerk. Ya know Soda, when mom died I knew the only way I could cope was to stay away from this place. All I wanted was that I would walk in the door and she would be in the kitchen. Steve healed faster than me and… that made me jealous. Ya know when the kid sets his mind to something he never gives up. I also found so much more comfort in Darry and football that I never want to leave it behind. But now…" I turned around to face him and saw Steve look at me. "I'm gonna give that up to protect my little brother." Steve smiled and it was a genuine Steve smile. Not the smirks he was known for or any of the half-smiles. This was real, this was my little brother.

"I'm happy you finally believe me", he said before closing his eyes and going back to sleep.

* * *

I sat at the kitchen table when my father came home that night. When he saw me he started.

"Michael", he said and breathed a sigh of relief. "I thought it was a burglar. What are ya doing home? Weren't you and Darry going to the soccer game?"

"We were until I found out I was needed at home."

"Oh and why is that?"

"I needed to protect my little brother."

"Protect him", dad looked confused. "From what?"

"From you."

He started and sighed. "Michael it's not what it look like."

"Oh and what does it look like?"

"It looks like if I've been hurting him."

"Ya got that right."

"But ya got to understand son, your brother attacked me and I had to defend myself."

"It surely looks like it", I spat. Dad didn't have a mark on him.

"I know you can't see it but… he… he is out of control. Your brother is wild and reckless and the only way to keep him under control is knocking some sense into him."

I rose so fast my chair fell backwards. "Listen to me old man. If I ever found out you've touched him, talked to him or hurt him again I'll kill you. I-I'll kill you. I want to go to the cops but they'll split us up. I'm a legal adult but they'll take him away and put him in a boy's home and that's not something I want to happen." I looked at him before leaving him alone in the kitchen. I entered my room and saw Steve sitting up in the bed looking worried.

"Is he gone", he asked.

"No, but he won't ever hurt you again. I swear." I walked over to the bed and sat down beside him and held him close. "I swear."

He smiled again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Part 5**

I and the guys were playing football in the lot with Michael, but Steve was still home since his flu wasn't gone yet. Steve had ushered Michael out of the house today. It had been a week since he got the flu and Michael had been with him all along. As it always was when we played. I was the captain of one team and Michael the other. It was time to pick the teams.

"Okay", Michael said. "I'll take Soda."

"I take Dally", I said and smirked. Usually I'd picked Steve since I loved to tease Michael by not letting him play with his brother. But Dally was great too, a little rough but great.

"Then I'll take Johnnycakes."

"I'll take Pony."

"That will give us Two-Bit."

"Why am I always picked last", Two-Bit asked.

"Because you're the worst football player around", Dallas said and smirked.

"Isn't four against three unfair", a voice said and we saw Tim Sheppard walk towards us. Tim is a good friend to all of us. Well Pony and Johnny are a bit afraid of him.

"Hi Tim", we all said.

"Anything happening", Dallas asked and threw away his cancer stick.

"Nah the socs are keeping pretty quiet. But Curly, the little idiot, got hauled in again."

"What did he do now", Pony asked.

"He threw a brick through a window at the police station. Idiot."

"And why did he do that", I asked and smiled. Curly always does what Tim does… in bigger scale.

"I might have thrown one through a window at the school", Tim answered with a shrug. "So can anyone join or is this a private game?"

"Nope", I said and smiled smugly at Michael. "Ya can join our team."

"Good", Tim smiled and cracked his knuckles. "Is there any special rules?"

"Yeah since both Pony and Johnny are too small to tackle the rest of us easily", Michael said. "They tackle ya if they touch you with both hands or if they touch the ball while you're holding it. So ya have to drop the ball and wait for five seconds."

"I can do that", Tim shrugged and looked around. "Hey Michael where's your miniature?"

"He's got the flu", I noticed a dark look in Michaels eye as he looked at his cousin. Yeah I might tell ya that. Michael and Tim aren't just good friends. They're cousins too. But sometimes I wonder if they aren't brothers. They look very much alike. Sometimes when Tim's siblings are around we play Randle/Sheppard vs. Curtis/gang football. Then the teams are Michael, Steve, Tim and Curly against me, Soda, Dallas and Two-Bit. Johnny, Pony and Angela are too small to play then so they use to comment the matches or in Angela's case… perform as cheerleader.

"He's still sick", Tim asked, just a tiny bit worried.

"Yeah he's at home."

"Ah that's why your father's car was there." I saw Michael pale and drop the ball he was holding.

"Michael", Soda asked and gave him a gentle shake. "Michael."

"Hey Randle", Dallas yelled. "What's wrong? Have ya seen a ghost?"

"I-I gotta go", Michael said and took off down the street.

"Michael!"

"I forgot something I had to do!" he yelled back and we started playing.

* * *

How could I be so stupid that I left? Damn, dad must have been waiting for me to leave the house. The house! There it is! Hold on Steve I'm coming!

* * *

"This is for lying to your brother", dad yells at me as he hit me with the 2x4 again but I don't care since I feel numb all over. I feel numb and cold and I know that this is it. The sun is shining in through the window and onto my face. The warmth feels good and suddenly I see a shape in the light. It is a woman with dark curly hair and dark eyes. She has a worried and sad look on her face. She looks at dad and tears goes down her cheeks. Then she reaches out to me with her hand outstretched. I raise my hand to take hers and when her fingers clutch around mine I suddenly don't feel pain anymore. She holds me in her arms and I look back at dad. He is still hitting me with the 2x4 and the door flies open and I see Michael. Michael… my big brother that I love so much. I feel sorry for him but also happy now that he believes me. I want him to know that I'm safe and not angry at him. I want him to live on and achieve his wildest dreams. He will. I know that he will. He grabs dad's arms and hits him so hard he stumbles backwards. I don't want them to fight over me like this. But what choice do I have? I must leave now… I can't stay but I want to tell him and damn I'll find a way to do it.

* * *

"S-Steve", I stuttered out and hurried over to my brother's side at the floor. He was pale and not moving a bleeding everywhere. I felt for a pulse… but there is none.  
"No", I said and shook Steve's thin body. "No… Steve look at me! Open your eyes little brother! Don't leave me here! Look at me!" Nothing, no response, nothing. He was gone… he was… dead. I started to bawl and felt someone close to me. It was dad, I twirled around and decked him. Then I hurried to call the hospital and the fuzz. Hell how could I've been so fucking stupid?

* * *

Monday morning we all waited for Michael and Steve but they didn't come so we had to go to school. When we got there we saw that the flag was only raised to the middle of the flagpole.

"Who's dead", Two-Bit asked and threw away his smoke.

"Probably some politician or cop", Dallas spat and headed inside. But I noticed that Soda was a bit pale.

"Little buddy", I asked and walked over to him. "What's wrong?"

"D-Darry… What if s-something's happened to Michael and Steve?"

I just blinked in shock then threw my arm around his shoulders.

"Now, now little buddy don't you worry they're fine."

Together we headed inside school just in time to hear a teacher tell us that everyone was going to a gathering in the auditorium. I shrugged and led Soda over there. We joined up with Dallas, Two-Bit and Tim and took seats among other greasers in the back. We saw our teachers stand at the stage, lightening candles and I saw that the teacher in auto mechanics was really upset. He even had tears going down his face. I notice Soda tensed beside me and put a supporting arm around him.

"Don't worry little buddy", I whispered. "Everything is fine."

He didn't look convinced. Then the principal took the microphone and everyone went quiet, except from some greasers and socs.

"I know that you all have noticed the way our flag is today", the principal said. "And I know that you all know that someone has died. Now I want you all to rise so we can have a silent minute."

We all rose and it was deathly silent. Say what ya want about the socs/greasers feud but when things were like this, no one spoke or insulted others.

"Thank you", the principal said after a minute. "Now I want you all to send your quiet prayers to the Randle family, who lost their youngest member Steven Randle yesterday."

The auditorium burst into mumbles and whispering. But I only felt how Soda swayed beside me and turned just in time to catch him when his knees gave out underneath him. Dallas was staring into space in shock and anger, Two-Bit looked the same and Tim… Tim was nowhere to be seen at first. Then I noticed him storm out of the auditorium slamming the door shut. Soda was crying and I held him close.

"Come on", I told him and the other two. "Let's go home."

* * *

Mom was furious when we all appeared but her face changed when she saw how Soda was crying.

"What's going on", she asked worried and I told her what had happened at school. "Oh my God… No…"

Just as I was about to say something more the door flew open and Tim was there.

"Darry", he said between breaths. "Ya gotta help me!"

"What… What's wrong Tim?"

"I… I'm trying to get into Michael's house but he refuses to open the door. Ya gotta help me get to him!"

"Shit", I said and took my jacket. "Mom I'll be back as soon as I can."

"We'll come too", Soda spoke up and I stared at him.

"No Soda…"

"Please Darry maybe I can talk to him. Steve was my best friend."

Tim looked at me and nodded.

"Okay little buddy", I said and gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Come on."

* * *

The door was locked and there was no sign of life.

"Are ya sure he's home Tim", I asked and Tim nodded.

"I checked through the kitchen window Darry. He just sits there… in all the blood."

I heard Soda make a funny noise and I decided it was time for action. I knocked on the door.

"Michael", I yelled. "Hey Michael it's Darry and the gang! Let us in!"

No answer.

"Michael open this door or I'll knock it in!"

Still no answer.

"Right step aside". I braced myself and rammed the door. The door was old and so was the frame so it fell to the ground in pieces at my first try. We all hurried inside and stopped dead in the kitchen. In front of the stove was a big dark stain and we all knew what that was. Michael sat close to it, his back against a cupboard. He sat with his knees pulled up, his eyes were closed so we thought he was asleep or dead at first. But then we saw that he held a beer bottle in a hard grip. He took a swig from it and then let his hand drop again. He didn't even know we where there. I took a deep breath and walked over to him. I crouched down beside him.

"Michael", I said softly but gained no response. I shook his shoulder. "Michael!"

"Yes officer", he yelped and jumped in fright. "Oh Darry… hi."

"Hey man. We heard what happened."

He looked at me with red eyes. "Ya did?"

"Yeah the principal told us Steve died yesterday. I'm sorry man."

"Not as sorry as I am", he sighed and took another swipe from his bottle. "If I hadn't left him alone… This would never have happened."

"Hey it was an accident man", I said soothingly. "You couldn't know he…" I stopped. Hell we didn't know how he died.

"Where's your dad", Dallas asked and looked around. "I thought he would be here with ya."

"I wish he was", Michael said darkly and I saw an anger in his eyes I'd never seen before. "I wish he was so I could fucking kill him!" The last thing was yelled and all of us jumped. "If it wasn't for that useless piece of shit Steve would be alive!"

"What do you mean", Tim asked softly.

Michael was on his feet, gingerly and really, really angry.

* * *

"That fucking bastard beat my little brother to death yesterday", I yelled. "Our fucking father killed my brother!" There I'd told them. I'd told them what our… my father did. It's just my father now, there is no ours anymore. Steve's gone. My poor little brother is gone. Darry was pale as a sheet, so was the most of them. Except from Sodapop, he had known all along.

"A-are ya serious", Two-Bit stuttered.

"Yes I'm sure", I yelled at him. "I got home when he was doing it! I hurried home as fast as I could and saw my dad hit my little brother with a 2x4! I hit my father to save my brother! But it was too late!" My anger gave away for sorrow and tears welled up in my eyes. "He died before I got the chance to save him!" My voice was shrill and I swayed on my feet. But someone was there to steady me and I looked down on Sodapop. He had his arms around my torso and he was hugging me.

"It wasn't your fault Michael", he said soothingly but I could see the tears on his face. "The only one to blame is your father. He's an asshole. You did the best you could. Ya couldn't have known what your father was planning to do. I don't blame ya… and I can't imagine that Steve does."

I was about to push him away when grief hit me hard and I started bawling and hugged Soda close to me. I felt arms around my back and looked over at my cousin and then another pair of arms was around us. This time they belonged to Darry. Two-Bit and Dallas joined in too. Man we must have looked ridiculous. But what do I care? My little brother is dead God damn it!

* * *

The church was cold and dull and I hated it, with all my heart I hated it. I knew that church for some people was a place for prayers and comfort but every time I'd been here someone was being buried. This time wasn't different... today was the funeral for my younger brother the brother I hadn't had such good bond with until just shortly. I felt pain in my chest as I thought of that little guy's laughter. Little maybe isn't the best word but you know what it's like. Your younger siblings are always little to you. I saw my brother's best friend not far from me and the guy was crying his eyes out. I wanted to cry myself but couldn't. I'd been crying for days now and I don't think I have more tears to cry. Suddenly when the preacher was talking I remembered the song I'd heard my little brother sing weeks ago and I could swear I heard it now too. The melody was a bit sad and powerful and I'm angry for not listening closely to the words until it was too late.

"**_It won't be easy, you'll think it's strange  
When I try to explain how I feel  
that I still need your love after all that I've said_**

**_You won't believe me  
All you will do is listen to him  
Although he's lying to you  
But you never believe me do you_**

**_I had to let it happen, I couldn't win  
Could not fight back to defeat him  
He is always too strong, I am always too weak_**

**_So I chose hatred  
Trying to run, yelling, hurting you too  
But I didn't hate you at all  
He never tried to do it to you_**

**_Don't cry for me big brother  
The truth is I never left you  
All through my wild days  
My mad existence  
I kept my promise  
Don't keep your distance_**

**_And as for anger, and as for hate  
I never invited them in  
Though it seemed to the world they were all that I had  
They are illusions  
They are not the true sides of my heart  
The answer was here all the time  
I love you and hope you love me_**

**_Don't cry for me big brother_**

**_Hmmm mm  
Don't cry for me big brother  
The truth is I never left you  
All through my wild days  
My mad existence  
I kept my promise  
Don't keep your distance_**"

**_Have I convinced you?  
There are so much lies he tells to you.  
But all you have to do is look at me to know  
That all my words are true_**"

Suddenly I could swear I heard my brother's voice singing some new parts. The words were like whispers in my ears. Whispers that closed everything else out.

"**_I want to tell the truth to you my brother  
I know now that you believe  
All the horrors and pain that he put me through  
Though I'm defeated  
I know that you will win and defeat him  
For both of our sakes_**

**_Don't cry for me big brother  
The truth is I shall not leave you  
Though it may get harder for you to see me  
I'm with you, and always will be_**

**_Have I said too little?  
There's so much more I can think of to say to you  
But all I can do now is tell you that  
I'll always love you_**"

I looked around the church and at all the grieving people and realized I couldn't take it. I shot up from my place and ran down the aisle, ignoring the voice calling my name. I just couldn't be there... I just couldn't. So I ran, as fast as my legs could carry me and soon I was at our house. Or my house is more accurate. Dad's in jail for murder, for murdering his own son. A fifteen-year-old boy that hadn't done anything to him. As I looked around I took in the dark, cold and empty room and sunk down on the couch, burying my face in my hands.

* * *

Suddenly I swear I could hear footsteps and looked up. There was no one there but I could swear I heard it. Suddenly I saw a shape standing in the far corner. He was looking at me and a smile reached my lips and I said:

"So you're home now."

"I was never gone", he answered.

"Yeah… stupid me. Are ya hungry?"

"No."

"I'll go and fix some for ya okay?"

"Michael."

"Why would I do that Steve?"

"What?"

"Of course I wouldn't forget to make some for myself. Stop worrying about it."

"Michael what are you talking about?"

"Oh so how did it go?"

"What?"

"I see, well it's good your boss have ya. Ha he wouldn't get even half as much business if it wasn't for you."

"Michael…"

"Yeah I know some of the business is because of Fanta's looks. But hey he ain't got anything in comparison to your skills man. I won't be too surprised if you'll own your own garage one day."

"Bro…"

"I'm not exaggerating Steve. I tell ya the truth. Mom would be so proud and I will be too."

"Michael!"

"Me? No she won't be proud of me. All I can do is play football."

"Will you stop it?"

"Thanks kid. Maybe I will. Now let's get some lunch."

* * *

Michael went into the kitchen and left me alone. He could see me and that shocked me. I know that he heard me in the church but this was strange. I think his grief has made him lose it. I mean I didn't understand what he was talking about. He was asking me questions and obviously heard me answer. I think he heard what he wished to hear. Maybe telling him wasn't such good idea after all. He acts as if I'm not dead… shit this won't end well.

* * *

_Author's note: There this is the chapter that hurts me the most... Why do we always hurt the characters we love most? The lyrics are worked out from Don't cry for me Argentina, that i do no own and i don't own the outsiders, except for Michael. He's mine._


	7. Chapter 7

Part 6

Darry was worried for his best friend. Since he'd fled the church they hadn't seen him and it was two weeks ago now. He'd been there on graduation but after that… nothing. Not a single word or a single glance of the guy. Darry's parents had seen Michael in the grocery store but nowhere else. So Darry decided to take matters in his own hands. He went over to Michael's place and knocked the door. His best friend opened and smiled brightly.

"Darry", he said. "Hey man how are ya?"

"I'm fine buddy and you?"

"I'm just great. Come in I'll give ya some lunch!"

Darry entered the house and looked around. It was still looking as it always had, a bit cleaner and lighter but no major changes.

"Ya want an omelet or just egg and bacon", Michael yelled from the kitchen.

"Whatever is fine."

"Okay then omelet it is."

Darry was a bit shocked that Michael sounded so happy and all. He didn't sound as if he'd just lost his younger brother. Darry entered the kitchen and stared at the table as Michael put out three sets of plates.

"Why three plates Mike", he asked as he sat down. Michael turned from the stove with a laugh.

"Well ya can't be eating out of the pan or directly on the table can ya Darry?"

"Well… eh no… is there someone else joining us?"

"Did ya just see that?" Michael asked and turned to look at his right side. "Darrel Curtis was just rude! Can you imagine that?"

Darry followed his gaze but he didn't see anything.

"He didn't mean it", Michael went on. "He's just tired."

"Michael", Darry asked aware of something being wrong.

"Of course he does", Michael continued and ignored Darry for the moment. "Now stop talking rubbish and sit down. Yeah Darry what did ya want?"

Darry looked as Michael followed something with his gaze and the smile satisfied when his gaze landed on the empty seat beside Darry.

"Who are you talking to", Darry asked.

Michael laughed. "Aw Darry have you two been in a fight or something?"

"What?"

"Well then why is he ignoring you?"

"Who?"

"Now that's rude buddy."

"Excuse me?"

"Darry have ya two been in a fight?"

"No", Darry said. A bit wary though.

"Then why are you ignoring him?"

"Who?"

"Steve ya idiot! He's sitting right beside you and ya haven't said hello or looked at him!" Michael was smiling wider than Sodapop and Darry felt his heart clench as he rose.

"Michael", he said softly. "Steve isn't here."

"Of course he is. He's sitting right there." Michael pointed at the chair.

"No Michael", Darry walked over to the chair and drew his hand through the air. "It's nothing here."

"Hey don't ya hit my little brother!"

"Michael", Darry now walked over to him. "Mike, Steve's dead."

"Very funny Darry", Michael said as he put out the three omelets. "If Steve was dead he wouldn't sit there."

"Mike. Steve's not sitting there. He's gone, ya saw him die. His funeral was two weeks ago."

"Are you and Steve trying to pull a joke on me", Michael said and crossed his arms over his chest. "'Cause it ain't funny."

"Michael this is no joke. Steve's dead, he's not here. You're seeing things!"

"Darry I'm not crazy. Steve is sitting right there see!"

"No Michael he's not."

"See I told you so."

"What?"

"Yeah I know little brother, he's never been any good at playing jokes."

"Michael!"

"What?"

"Stop talking to him as if he was here! Steve's not here! He's dead! Your father killed him! Your dad is in jail after murdering your brother!"

Michael shook his head. "Are ya trying to upset me and Steve? Darry dad's in jail for abusing Steve. Dad may've been hitting him but he never killed him. The asshole is out of our lives and we're happy now. But if ya insist to hurt us…" Michael went to the door and opened it. "I suggest ya leave now."

"Michael listen to me", Darry tried. "You got problems. Steve isn't here, he isn't real. Only you can see him 'cause he's only here in your head!"

"I suggest ya get the hell out of here Darrel", Michael said darkly. "Now."

Darry rose and walked to the door and turned around to say something but Michael slammed the door shut.

* * *

"Can you believe that guy Steve", Michael said to me as I sat by the table. I sighed. Darry hadn't seen me I knew he wouldn't. I only hope Darry will find someone to help Michael before he's totally lost. The only reason I linger here is that I want to see if he finds help. As soon as he does I'll leave. But I have one last thing to tell him… but the time is not now. Not until someone comes to help him.

"I mean", Michael went on. "First he acts as if you're not here and when I point it out he says only I can see you."

"You're the only one that sees me Michael."

"Exactly my point", Michael aimed his fork at me apparently hearing me say something else. It still confuses me. "He should've gotten 'em ages ago."

"Michael…"

"Then he tells me your dead and dad murdered you. Now that's just plain cruel after everything we've been through."

"But it's the truth Michael", I yell at him but he only reach out and puts his hand on my shoulder. He can't grip it of course so it hits thin air and falls to the table.

"Sorry I forgot you're not up for physical emotions yet", Michael said and looked sad. "Man what dad did to ya is unforgivable. But don't worry Stevie." He smiles. "You'll be back to let me hug, touch ya and ruffle your hair in no time." I sigh. "Aren't ya gonna eat that omelet?"

"No Michael I can't eat."

"Suit yourself, I'll save yours and Darry's for tomorrow."

"Michael… I ain't here here."

"Yeah I gotta head back to work. I'll see ya tonight." He leaves and I let my head slam down onto the table with a frustrated sigh.

* * *

When I got home he found his younger brothers out on the porch. Soda was looking miserable, as he had been since Steve's death. But he didn't talk, not to him, their dad, Pony, their mom or anyone at all. He sat down beside them and rubbed his face.

"Something wrong Darry", Pony asked.

"I don't know kiddo… I seriously don't know."

"Did ya meet Michael?"

"Yeah… that's the thing."

"Oh?"

"Yeah… guys I'm worried he's lost it."

"Who's lost what", Dally asks as he walks up to them with Two-Bit and Johnny.

"Apparently Two-Bit has", Johnny said and smiled. "Or why else would he do cartwheels all the way over here?"

"Hey it's a fun way of travelling", Two-Bit objected and all, except Darry and Soda, chuckled. "Hey Soda how's thing going at the DX?"

Soda just shrugged. As I said, he wasn't talking to anyone.

"Shit in this pace you'll be as rich as a soc after the summer", Two-Bit went on and Soda managed a small smile. "So who's lost it?"

"Michael", Darry answered and all turned to look at him and he sighed deeply. "He's really, really depressed."

"Wouldn't you be", Dally said and sat down on the ground before the Curtises. "Think about it if your dad would kill your brother wouldn't you be depressed too?"

"Of course I would", Darry snapped. "But it's more."

"More", Pony asked. "In what way Darry?"

Darry sighed heavily again. "Michael doesn't think Steve's dead."

It went deadly quiet and Soda looked at Darry with a raised eyebrow.

"Hey that's my trick", Two-Bit piped up.

"What are ya talking about Darry", Johnny said.

"When I got there", Darry explained. "Michael was his happy self."

"So", Dally asked and flicked away his smoke.

"He asked me if I wanted lunch and set out three plates when I agreed."

"Okay then what does this have to do with Steve", Johnny asked.

"I asked him why three plates and he laughed and told 'someone else' in the room that he couldn't believe that Darry Curtis was being rude."

"So", Two-Bit asked.

"We were the only ones there guys." They all looked at each other then back at Darry. "He made me really confused when he talked to this 'someone' and he got answers from him too." Darry continued to tell them about what had happened and when he was done Soda rose and left. He slammed the door shut after him and everyone looked after him with sad and worried glances.

"Ya think he's gonna be alright", Pony asked.

"Yeah Pone", Darry said softly slinging and arm around his little brother's shoulders. "Just give him some time."

* * *

In the meantime Soda collapsed on his bed and buried his face in the pillow until he felt a cold breeze on his neck and something touched his back.

"Why are you still here", he asked and turned around to face his dead best friend. Steve's gaze fell to the floor. "Can't ya see what you've done to Michael?"

Steve only nodded sadly.

"I'm sorry", Soda said and whipped his tears away. "I didn't mean to sound so mean."

Steve managed the smallest smile.

"So Michael can see ya too? So I'm not going crazy?"

Soda could swear he heard Steve say: "Are ya sure about that?"

"Very funny."

Steve smiled and sighed.

"You can't leave", Soda said after a bit of silence. "That's why you're still here. You just can't leave. You got some unfinished business right?"

"Ya got that right buddy." He could swear he heard Steve speak again.

"I miss ya Steve… I miss ya a lot." Steve's "ghost" or whatever it was sat down at his side and slung an arm around his shoulders and gave them a gentle squeeze. But Soda didn't really feel it. All he could feel was a slight cold breeze and that something was touching him. The same thing when Steve touched his back. It felt like when one single strand of hair lies on your bare skin. Soda smiled.

"But I also know that you'll never leave me, never because as long as I keep ya in my heart and in my memory you won't be gone."

"And you always say you're stupid."

"Am I really hearing you talk or am I making it up?"

Steve shrugged. "How the heck am I supposed to know?"

"Don't take me wrong… but I don't think you should come along so much more. It will make it harder for me when you finally leave." He turned to look at Steve but his best friend was gone and he sighed heavily. "If you were even here..."


	8. Chapter 8

**Part 7**

Darry and the gang, including Soda, were out playing football when Tim and Curly came towards them.

"Hi", Tim said. "Can we join in?"

"Sure", Darry said and smiled. "How are ya holding up Tim?"

"Fine…" Tim looked at Curly who was talking with Pony and Johnny. He smiled softly. "But… Angela and Curly aren't taking it as good. They aren't used to people dying this young."

"And you are", Dallas asked.

"Ya know pretty damn well I am."

"Sorry", Dally muttered.

"I was over at Michael's place", Tim continued. "He was acting strange…"

Darry gave Soda the football and steered Tim off to the side.

"In what way Tim", I asked once they were out of earshot from the others.

"He was pacing and I asked what he was doing. He told me he was waiting for Steve to come home. When I was about to tell him that Steve won't come home he frowned and walked up to where I stood. But he uh… looked beside me and started to scold Steve for being out and not telling him where he'd gone or anything. The worst thing is…" Tim looked at Darry with eyes filled with emotions Darry couldn't read. "I really think he saw him… I'm almost certain I did too… Just for a few seconds."

"Tim when you're grieving and… Had you been drinking?"

"Yeah a little so?"

"Tim when you're grieving and your body is filled with alcohol your brain starts to act strangely. I think it was the alcohol that made ya see him."

"Yeah but still… Michael wasn't drunk."

Darry sighed heavily. "I know… I was over a few days ago and… well he was acting as if Steve was there."

"Darry he's lost it."

"We gotta do something."

"Yeah but what?"

"Let's all head over there. Maybe we can talk some sense into him."

"Good idea."

"Guys", Darry hollered and everyone came.

"What", Dally asked.

"Come on", Darry said and took the football. "We're heading over to Michael's place."

"Why", Pony asked wary.

"To try to… maybe Johnny, Pony and Curly should stay here."

"Why", Curly asked.

"Well… it might be a bit disturbing talk over there. I don't want y'all to see it."

"But he's my cousin…"

"We'll keep an eye on 'em", Two-Bit said and flung his arms around Johnny and Pony. "Won't we Dally?"

"Okay…"

* * *

Michael was whistling happily as he was doing the dishes. He turned to the kitchen table were Steve was watching him with a sad look.

"What's up little bro?"

"Soda haven't been around for a while…" his brother answered. "Ya think he doesn't want to be my friend after what dad did?"

"No, no, no maybe he thinks we'll need some time for ourselves. Don't ya like hanging out with your older brother?"

"Theirs is nothing I rather do… but I'd love it if Soda was here too. I'd like the whole gang here in fact."

The door opened and the gang plus Tim and Curly entered.

"Looks like ya got your wish… adding Tim and Curly."

Michael smiled at the guys.

"Hi guys", he said.

"Hi Michael", Darry said. "Uhm are you doing alright?"

"Yeah why wouldn't I?"

"Well considering what happened the other day."

"Oh ya mean after telling me my brother is dead and buried and that my father killed him?"

"Yeah…"

"Well it's okay. It was just a joke going wrong. I'm not mad at ya. Are you Steve?"

"No why would I", Steve answered his brother. "To tell the truth Darry has never been any good at jokes."

"You are so right little brother."

Michael saw the sad faces of the others.

"What's wrong", he asked.

"Michael", Tim said. "Did Steve answer ya?"

"Are ya going deaf Tim?"

"No… None of us except you could hear him… Because only you can see him."

Michael laughed. "Oh very funny Timmy. I'm the only one who can…" He stopped and looked at their faces and then back to Steve who looked as confused as he felt. "What do you mean?"

"Michael", Darry tried carefully. "We are nine people in this room…"

"Ten", Michael corrected with a smile.

"No Michael", Curly said. "Steve's not here." The kid had tears in his eyes.

"Knock it off Curly", Michael said and narrowed his eyes. "Steve is standing over there!" He pointed at the wall.

"There", Dallas asked and pointed.

"Yeah."

Dallas walked over to the wall and leaned against it.

"What are you doing", Michael heard Steve protest. But his younger brother didn't move. Michael rubbed his eyes as he could see a mix of Dallas and Steve, but mostly Dallas. It looked as if Dallas was inside a transparent Steve. Michael dropped the spoon.

"No", he said and shook his head. "No it can't be true."

"Of course it isn't true", Steve answered. "It's some kind of joke."

"Yeah it must be…"

"Michael", Darry tried and touched his friend's arm.

"No", Michael screamed and jerked his arm away. "Don't ya touch me! Tell me how you're doing it! Tell me now Darry!"

"We're not doing anything", Tim said sternly. "It's all in your head."

Michael looked around and his gaze stopped at Soda, who was looking at Dallas.

"Soda", he begged and the younger boy turned to him. "Soda tell me you can see him!"

Soda swallowed then shook his head in denial. He couldn't tell the others he saw Steve too. That would hurt Michael more.

"This is a sick joke", Michael yelled again. "I don't understand how you can all sink so low! Especially you Soda!"

Soda started to shake as he tried hard not to cry.

"Hey leave him out of this", Darry barked. "Michael listen to me... Steve's dead! And if you won't believe me telling you..." Darry went to the other room and grabbed an old paper and turned to the death notes and showed Michael. "Here's his death note."

Michael took the paper and laughed. "Darry you're getting worse and worse in the joking buisness!"

"Michael this ain't a joke", Dallas yelled angrilly. "Your brother is fucking dead man! Be a man and get over it!"

Michael's eyes flashed dangerously and he took out the riffle his father always had kept hidden beneath the kitchen counter.

"Snowwhite I suggest you all leave", he growled and they all paled as he aimed for no one in particular. "Now..."

"Michael don't be foolish", Tim tried. "We're just trying to..."

"Now!" Michael yelled and Darry realized they'd better leave so he grabbed Pony and Curly who stood the closest and dragged them towards the door. Tim and the others followed but Soda hesitated at the door and looked at Michael with sad eyes. Michael aimed for him and prepared to fire. Soda looked at the right corner where Steve had been and then back at Michael again.

"Now I know his purpose", he said and left.

* * *

Damn it all to hell! Why did I have to contact Michael?! None of this would've happened if I did! It almost worked! Darry nearly got to him! Damn, damn, damn! I gotta find a way to help my brother... I... I just gotta... I don't know what to do... Mom help me... please...

* * *

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

**Part 8**

"We gotta find a way to get to him", Darry said to the gang, Tim and Curly two weeks later. "Michael has gone crazy and the court will soon judge his father. If Michael stays like this they might think he killed Steve instead of that swamp rat."

"But how are we supposed to do it", Dallas asked. "Last time we were there he aimed a fucking riffle at us!"

"I guess we have to be mroe gentle this time..."

"Or take him outside the house", Tim said and rose from the grass in the Curtis' yard.

"Why'd you figure", Two-Bit said and cocked an eyebrow.

"If we take him to the lot", Tim explained. "He won't have his riffle and it will be easier for us to make him see reason."

"Why?"

"Becuase he won't be in the house... where it happened."

"I think ya got a point there Tim", Dallas said and sighed. "Unfortunately."

"Shut up."

"How will we get him there", Pony asked.

"Invite him... and Steve to football. 'They'll' come."

Darry rose and went back to the house and took the phone.

* * *

"Hi Darry waht's shaking", my brother says into the phone. Then he looks at me with a big smile and a twinkle in his eyes I recognize too well. Darry has invited him to come and play football. "But of course me and my lil' bro will join y'all. Wouldn't be a match without us!"

I roll my eyes and wonder if the others have gone crazy too. Why would they ask me to join them. I'm dead isn't there anyone who realize that?! Then Michael turns to me.

"Come on Stevie we have a football game to win." I follow him out of the house. I wish that the others haven't gone crazy too and that they ahve a plan behind this.

* * *

"There you are Michael", Darry said as Michael came towards them. "How are ya?"

"I'm just fine Darry. Y'all seem to have realized that I don't like when you joke about my brother being dead. Sorry about the riffle. I just had to make a point."

"Yeah and we have to make another", Dally spat. "Listen now ya crazed lunatic. Steve is dead, he's burried... he's a gonner."

"No he isn't Snowwhite", Michael spat and pointed at his side. "When your eyes now are that bad I'll tell you that Steve stands right here."

"He doesn't Michael", Curly yelled with tearfilled eyes. "You've lost it cuz!"

"Ain't funny Curly."

"But it's the truth!"

Everyone looked upset, Michael noticed that and he started tremble himself. Maybe he was going crazy.

"No", he said. "No... no it's a joke you're playing. Steve ain't dead!"

"Michael", Darry said and walked up to him. "Listen to me. Your father will be in court next week. They will questioning you on Steve's death. If you keep this up they might think you killed him and that your regrets make you see things that ain't there."

"No... Darry i-it can't be true!"

"Sorry bud", Two-Bit said softly. "It is."

Michael looked around and his gaze fell on Soda who was looking at the spot where Michael had said Steve was at. The kid looked real hurt and spooked and Michael remembered his last words in the kitchen.

"Soda", hel begged and the younger boy turned to him. "Soda tell me you can see him!"

Everyone turned to Soda now. Soda let his head drop and Pony touched his arm.

"Soda", he asked softly.

"Sodapop", Darry asked realization dawn on him about why Soda hadn't been talking since Steve died. "C-can you see Steve too?"

Soda shook his head at first… then nodded.

"What", Dally yelled.

"Right now", Soda said ignoring him. "Steve is walking up to you Darry. He's reaching out his hand and is touching…" Soda trailed off so Darry could answer that.

Darry tensed when he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder but no one was touching him. His eyes were big and he slowly looked at his shoulder.

"My shoulder", he breathed and Soda nodded.

"Darry", Tim tried but stopped dead in his tracks. Both he and Curly paled simultaneously. The Sheppard-brothers saw their dead cousin touching Darry's shoulder. For them he was very blurry.

"Holy shit", Curly said in a whisper.

Michael looked at his younger brother and saw his lips move.

"Michael", Johnny said and everyone turned to him. "Steve says that what we all say is true and that he's sorry to hurt you by being here. But he can't leave until he knows you'll be okay."

"How'd ya", Michael began. "You're lying." His anger went away when Steve shook his head and walked over to Two-Bit and Dallas and slapped both of them up the head.

"Ouch", they said. Like Darry they could feel Steve.

"He also says that the guys will help you", Pony said. The second one to hear exactly what Steve is saying. Soda only heard fragments of the truth and Michael what he wanted to hear.

"And we will", Darry spoke and hugged Michael to him. "I swear that to ya both. Steve I can't see or hear you… but can you hear me?"

"Ya bet I can", Pony and Johnny spoke.

"We're going to help your brother now so you don't need to be here anymore."

"I know."

"Man", Tim said and walked over to his cousin and put a hand on his shoulder. His hand went straight through. "Shit I just wanted to…" He saw Steve hug him. "Exactly. Listen give your mom our love and can you… say hi to Josephine?"

"Who", Curly asked.

"Steve says yes", Pony and Johnny said.

* * *

I look at my friends and family and smile. They can't all see me, hear me or touch me. But together they can do all that. I walk over to my brother and concentrates on one thing. I hug him and I know he can feel it because he hugs me back.

"This is spooky", Two-Bit says. "Really, really spooky like we're in a fucking ghost movie."

I focus on one thing again and this time it's for everyone.

"I know Two-Bit", I say and all starts when they all realize they can hear me. I turn to Michael again and sing the last part of my song:

"**_Don't cry for me big brother  
For I am unhurt, I am free  
And now together with our mother  
I'll see you again, I'll see you one day  
So don't you cry now, 'cause I am free now  
So don't you cry now, 'cause I am free now_**"

With that I take one last look around and leave.

* * *

"S-Steve", Soda asked as a chilly wind went through the lot. But he couldn't see, feel or hear anything.

"He's gone", Pony said and took Soda's hand. "He's really gone now."

"He's free", Michael spoke and sat down on the grass and buried his head in his hands. "He's with mom."

"Michael I'm really sorry", Darry said softly and hugged him. "I know you thought… what you thought."

"It's not your fault Darry… it's my fault. I was so depressed and blaming myself so much and I wished for it to just be a dream. My head made that up for me… I… I think I just didn't want to lose my little brother."

"You haven't lost him Michael", Soda said and everyone looked at him. He had tears going down his cheeks but he was smiling, a real Sodapop smile, something they hadn't seen since Steve's death. "As long as ya love him and keep him in your heart he isn't really gone. Can't y'all feel it? Just think about him and you'll feel him there… right beside you."

They all did and Darry smiled. He could really feel Steve beside him or inside his heart… it was hard to tell.

"You're right Soda", he said and hugged his little brother. "Steve will always be with us."


	10. Chapter 10

Part 9

I stand in front of two graves, my mom's and my brother's. Seventy years have passed and I still miss them. But I know they're there for me even now when I'm old and grey. At the age of twenty I got enough money to get to college and study medicine. I was a doctor until I was 65. Now I'm 88 and I think I'm dying because I'm getting weaker and weaker. My wife… Elizabeth is already gone.

We met at the hospital here in Tulsa where I'd worked. She was a patient and we fell for each other right away. We got three children, the oldest a girl, she was born when I was 27 and her name is Emily, after mom. Then we got another girl two years after Emily and her name is Mary Anna and last we got a boy… he's four years younger than Mary Anna and his name is Steve. Damn my son even looked like him when he was younger. They've all gotten their own families and good jobs. I got a couple of grandchildren too and I'm an "uncle" to Darry's, Soda's and even the rest of the gang's kids.

All have done good. Darry has his own building company and they are the best here in Tulsa, Soda has his own chain of garages here in Tulsa and Oklahoma City, its name is S' magic hands. If S stands for Steve or Soda we will never know. Pony is a known writer and lives in D.C., Dallas was a cop, believe it or not, Two-Bit had his very popular radio show and Johnnycakes was a teacher. But Darry and Johnnycakes are gone now and Dally is joining them soon. Even though it hurts me that Steve never got the chance to live his dreams I'm happy that my life turned out so good.

* * *

I open my eyes and a face is smiling down at me.

"So ya come to join me and mom now eh", Steve asks and I look around. I'm in my room, my family is around my bed but they can't see me. I'm dead.

"Steve", I say and rise. I'm not hurting and I look in my mirror. I'm young again… I think I'm… thirty or twenty five I can't really tell. He smiles at me again and hugs me.

"Welcome to the great beyond big brother."

"Steve", I say again and gives him a back breaking hug while I'm crying. "I've missed you so much!"

"I've missed ya too. But hey ya got a great life behind ya. Come let's go meet mom, Darry, Dally and Johnnycakes."

"Dally's here?"

"Yeah joined us just hours ago."

"I'm sorry you died young."

"Hey don't cry for me big brother… The truth is I never left you."

The End **Okay I know it's not such a good end, but truth is this was one of my first fics so... Anyway hope you liked it.**


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